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Bitchery Through The Ages

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And now Julie! [Apr. 21st, 2006|02:45 pm]
[Tags|, ]

I am really dumbfounded at the number of people from high school who have found me via myspace lately - I haven't thought about a lot of them in so many years! I guess I'm flattered, but mystified. I guess I hung out with the right people and everything back then, but I was, to put it mildly, a heinous bitch. Maybe the fact that our 10-year reunion's next year is freaking eveybody out.

Heh...maybe they're all still scared of me...
Link2 Heathers What's your damage?

(no subject) [Apr. 8th, 2006|09:35 am]
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ANU! OMG, I am seriously (Brian) about to have a big ol' coronary thrombosis right here on the spot!

She's still gorgeous (she says she's gained weight since high school, but then, haven't we all), and is married!! to friggin' JEREMY!!! As with Brandon, I'm really surprised that she's not famous yet; she was the "it girl" at our school. Think of the song "Josie" - "she's the raw flame, the live wire" - all that cryptic Aja business. All that aside, though, her friendship was one of the ones that helped make me the person I am today (and not so incidentally, helped me have so much fun senior year), and I am majorly psyched that she found me after lo these many these years.

Anu (on the left) and her mother:


Man, that is hella crazy. It was definitely a day of surprises...

Saw T. last night. We ended up running out of gas (hey, he had a lot on his mind) and then I locked us out of the Jeep (hey, I have no mind to speak of), and then we had to depend upon the kindness of some rather bemused strangers with a cell phone. And Skip, of course. And a car of people who gave us cigarettes. It was all pretty funny, actually.

And I am happy. Now. Still. Whatever. This feels like the right thing to be doing, so I'm going with it.

I am gonna catch so much shit because of this, though. (I SO blame Greg Behrendt. He's like a spiky-haired advice monster standing on my shoulder, telling me to stop seeing Tod, and, quite incidentally, banging me in the neck with his wallet chain.)

(P.S.:

We were listening to WCYY last night, and AIC's "Man in the Box" came on. There's this lyric fragments: "Buried in my shit". So, what does CYY do with the latter word? Do they bleep it, or blank it out? No. They, in their infinite wisdom, replace it with the word "fish". Yeah, you heard me. "Buried in my fish".

I thought I'd misheard it at first, but the next verse, with its repetition of the offending word, was even more inappropriate. "I am the dog who gets beat / shove my nose in fish!"

If their goal is to confuse an entire new generation of listeners that has never heard the unretouched original, and to render immobile with hysterical laughter an entire generation of Gen-Xers that has, they're doing a stellar job. Bite me, CYY.)
LinkWhat's your damage?

(no subject) [Mar. 30th, 2006|08:52 am]
[Tags|, ]
[mood |indescribable]
[ambiance |D.F. - "The Night Belongs To Mona"]

No, I am not going to sleep with you. And yes, I have been avoiding you. (Although I'm really not sure why.)



I miss Rachel. I wish she hadn't gotten too godly to talk to me.

I miss Tod. I wish I hadn't alienated him.

I miss Arthur. I wish he wasn't an uncommunicative asshat.

I miss §. (Okay, I miss certain bits of him...) ;-D

I miss my family, and I think it's stupid that I only see them once or twice a year.

I still do not miss Eddie. At all.



I think I'm gonna go cuddle with my cats and watch "Sealab" now. §, if you ever actually get some free time, give me a call...
Link5 Heathers What's your damage?

(no subject) [Feb. 14th, 2006|07:05 pm]
[Tags|]

You know what I miss? High school.

I'm sure it wasn't nearly as utopian as I remember. But the cheerleading team was practically nonexistent, and the art and drama people and the neo-hippies pretty much held sway. It was as anti-John Hughes as a school can get. And I don't remember much (any?) racism, despite the fact that the school was pretty much evenly balanced between black and white students.

And (looking back, I find this rather appalling) we weren't really expected to learn that much. I excelled in the subjects I liked - English; theatre; History; art; Law - and ignored the rest. I failed geometry and chemistry the first time because I just stopped going, but nobody seemed to give much of a crap. The guidance counsellor never dragged me into his/her office to discuss my permanent record (actually, I don't even know if I had a guidance counsellor. OR a permanent record). The principal knew my name, not because I cut class so often, but because he had been in "Oklahoma!" and the Beatles retrospective with me the year before.

I especially liked senior year, when everybody got really mellow and hung out with people we hadn't liked since freshman year due to clique-y-ness or petty squabbles or what have you. I cut class and went walking through downtown Charleston with Justin Evanciew, sang Tori Amos songs in the theatre with Anu and Elizabeth, and Sarah Yarus and I would ecstatically shout "Shlomo!" whenever we saw each other. Maybe it's because I was in "Hair" that year, but it seemed like a very pacifistic, "age of Aquarius" kind of time. Plus, that year (and this sounds awful), we got rid of the various hangers-on ("limpets") that had been plaguing us for years. Ah, 1997...

I want to go back! Right on, Eddie Money...

*snif*

...right on.
Link3 Heathers What's your damage?

Crushed: [Jan. 30th, 2006|11:30 pm]
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Brandon Joyner, after lo these many years...?!? I had such a massive thing (love?) for him in high school, but the timing wasn't ever right; I wonder why the hell he isn't famous yet? And he was talking about ME just the other day? sounds intriguing...

Everybody, please say a heartfelt prayer for my Saab 9000? I love this car, and I just don't know if I'm ready to let go yet. I am clinging to the tiniest shred of hope...

They're not filibustering the Alito confirmation - hmm. I have mixed feelings about that, but it may well have proved counterproductive for the Dems to engage in an ultimately futile exercise, so maybe it's just as well.

Good luck with your cute boy, Nik! If things work out, at least one of us will have one! Stoopid boys...

Hokay, plug time:
My old buddy Pibby (Peter) has a new cartoon (which seems to have resulted in a nasty letter from the irredeemably evil Nick Zedd). Do me a solid and watch his show (which I think is still called "Rools Like Ozzy") if you live in Manhattan; it's about animation and vulgarity and crazy rocker chicks, and in the past said show has boasted such luminaries as Janeane Garofalo, Andy Richter, and the Upright Citizens Brigade. If you don't live in NYC, you can still watch his cartoon or read his various comic strips here: http://www.peterbernard.com

That is all.
LinkWhat's your damage?

OH MY FREAKIN' GOD!!! [Oct. 14th, 2005|09:42 am]
[Tags|, , , , ]
[ambiance |...Indigo Girls - "Airplane"...]

Yesterday was, without a doubt, my luckiest day ever:

First of all, æ just "recapitalized" (whatever that means; sounds to me like the company's value went up upon further investor analysis or something) in preparation for selling the company, which means that we were all due to get a bonus. At the time they mentioned it to us, I figured that it would be somewhere in the area of $300 - $500, which: very nice, but not exactly earth-shaking. However, that was about 6 months ago and I'd forgotten all about it.

So at around the end of the day yesterday, the I-man and Mae started handing people envelopes; I got mine and opened it, and my jaw fucking dropped. The check was for $1600! This, for someone like me who lives from month to month, is HUGE. Only the other day my mother and I were talking about some major and depressing budget cuts we were going to have to make, and now...!

After my heart stopped fluttering a little, I got really bummed out because Tod had just gotten his bank account overdrawn, and the rat bastards had assessed another $150 in overages. So he basically had -$180, and he thought that he might have to move out of the apartment because Adam has been so uncooperative about finding another roommate. Telling him that I'd just received a large sum of money from a company he'd left less than two weeks ago seemed like it would be adding insult to injury when he was so broke and demoralized. I had to tell him, though; he'd have found out anyway, and, what's more, I don't like keeping things from him.

So I called him and told him, attempting to downplay it somewhat, and when I finished telling him about it, he said, very quietly, "I got mine too."
Me: "EEEEEEEEEEE!"

Apparently he'd gone to the bank to protest the overage charges, because they hadn't told him about their new policies after the bank switched hands or something, and he found both his paycheck and about $700 extra! I was so goddamn chuffed that I couldn't stop laughing like a maniac. I rang off, promising that I'd come over later.

So Hanna let me go home about an hour early, about which I was overjoyed because I just couldn't wait to tell my mother (we own the house together and have a joint bank account, so this affects her as much as it does me). When she walked in the door, she looked kind of pissed and asked why I was home early. I told her that I thought we could afford it, and showed her the check.

After we both stopped screaming, we both managed to calm down and talk about other things, including the kitten I had fallen in love with on Tuesday.

*** Flashback:***

She's Tod's kitten's youngest sister, although she doesn't look a thing like him: she's all black except for white on the tips of each paw; she looks as if she's wearing nail polish. She's very fuzzy and has blue eyes, and she is very beautiful. I call her Bella, which is maybe rather trite but it does suit her perfectly. When we got there she was as hyper and playful as the rest of her siblings, but later on she calmed down and sat on my lap and fell asleep in a ball in a very sweet and ladylike manner.

But the real surprise was Tod's kitten; although all of the kittens were gamboling all over the goddamn place, and I kept trying to cuddle with him, he kept gravitating towards his new daddy, and finally got up on his lap, curled up, and fell asleep with all four of his paws in the air! Even when he started slipping into the crevice between T.'s knee, he just kept blinking trustingly up at him. It was the damndest thing! Tod, of course, looked as happy as I'd ever seen him. He is thinking of naming him "Hobbes" (for he is stripey), or possibly "Qui-Gon Poo-Poo".

***End of flashback***


So I'd been lobbying M. about little Bella for a couple of days, and she'd pretty much nixed the idea since we have three adorable little bastards already, but yesterday she capitulated! So I called Diane to check and see whether she was already spoken for, and (of course, because it was my lucky day) she wasn't! My cup done runneth over.

Another cool thing about yesterday (as if the above stuff wasn't enough!) is that my best friend from middle school, Tara, got in touch with me via myspace.com! After 14 freakin' years! I can't wait to see what she's been up to after all this time.

So last night, already high from the crazy day I'd had, I went to the mall (ick!) with Tod so he could get some goldenseal. To my surprise, I was able to get about ½ of my Christmas shopping done - yaaaay! Also, T. was unusually (and wonderfully) demonstrative yesterday, even for him; I was totally basking in all of this affection!

So that was what happened on Thursday.
LinkWhat's your damage?

(no subject) [Jun. 24th, 2005|08:41 pm]
[Tags|]
[mood | drained]
[ambiance |...Mitch Hedberg...]

Well, I talked to Tod today, and this time he gave me some answers that didn't suck, ones that I can live with. The upshot is that we're taking a break right now while we get our collective shit together. It'll be a hard transition to make, and I'm still feeling pretty raw and kind of brokenhearted, but I want him in my life, and he feels the same. So: friends. For now only, hopefully.

Thank you to everyone who e-mailed me/posted here because they were worried about me (although I think three e-mails might have a bit excessive, M.M.). I have many wonderful friends, both online and off. Thank you also to Marc, Ethan, Adam, Bobby, Bella, Tuyet, Hailey, and everyone else who gave me hugs and tried to make me feel better when I was so distraught today. And Kitten, I love you dearly and I thank you especially.

On another bizarre note, I just reconnected (via "myspace.com", of all things) with the girl who was my best friend throughout high school, Rachel. Who is now a missionary! In Hong Kong!! WTF?!? We parted on bad terms, and she probably thinks I'm going to hell, but she still seemed thrilled to hear from me. Crazy stuff, mang...

Now I'm going to have another Mike's Hard Lemonade™ and contemplate some shit.
LinkWhat's your damage?

"Misty watercolored meeemorieeeees!"... [Feb. 12th, 2005|08:28 pm]
[Tags|]
[mood | gratified]
[ambiance |...The Grateful Dead - "Friend of the Devil"...]

Today I said something that sounded eerily familiar but that I couldn't place, and so I racked my wee brain until I'd figured where I'd heard it before. Finally I got it; it was actually something that Anu used to say, back in high school.

Anu was one of my best friends senior year; she was undeniably the prettiest (this was after Ashley Scott went off to become a model), most popular, and most talented girl in school. I absolutely worshipped her and wanted her life; she was just so confident and brave, and did whatever the hell she wanted.

Which means that today I was surprised to realize that I've pretty much become the person I wanted to be when I was in high school; in the past 8 years I've evolved into someone who's infinitely more confident and much happier with myself. So, maybe I do come off as arrogant sometimes, but maybe that's because a small part of me is still trying to fight the ingrained shyness of my younger self. But now I definitely think I'm winning.

As Jack is wont to say, life is good.
Link4 Heathers What's your damage?

(no subject) [Dec. 16th, 2004|09:38 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[mood | muy furioso]

Possibly this e-mail will help to explain why I am practically incoherent with rage:

>Subject: I am going to freakin' well kill you!!!

>Text: So I know I may not be the greatest correspondent in the world, owing partially to having no long-distance plan, but I DID e-mail you recently. And then you don't even deign to tell me that you're leaving New England so that maybe we can all see your ass before you go? What kind of happy horsepucky is this?!? Write me back with an explanation or you're fired.

>(And happy Chrismukkah, BTW. And congrats on the nifty new job. Asswipe.)

>ME

Do you see where I might be a mite techy? One of my best friends moves off to Washington D.C. without word one and Brian only found out because he called Arthur's parents in freakin' Pemaquid, assuming he'd be there, and I mean to say, WHAT THE FUCK?

* * *


On a much sillier note, today my mother made me draw up a chart diagramming all of my male friends: boyfriends, drinking friends, gay friends, and friends that I am currently avoiding, with "circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one", etc. Apparently the plethora of male voices/names on our message machine confuses her immoderately.

(She has also had me, in addition to names and relationships, note who has children, wives, girlfriends, etc. Which makes me wonder whether she will be buying all of my boyfriends and their respective families Christmas gifts? Which would be nice, because I sure as hell won't be.)
LinkWhat's your damage?

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